Welcome back everyone to episode 20… and we are finally getting to one of the ballad types and topics that made me realize how much potential lay in these old songs…. Monstrous births. Or, to be clear, that's how they were marketed at the time. They were actually an overall mix of true accounts of birth defects and using the idea of deformity as a direct metaphor. Either way, it went, one thing remained the same. The mother was almost always to blame in some way or another.
The deformity of the child was a divine judgment on the mother, an idea I'm sure we are well past in an advanced modern society… insert audible eye roll.
Pregnancy, as we've covered before, was ripe with potential death for all expectant mothers, but on top of the physical stress of the entire process, there were other worries on top of just the pregnancy and labor. Sickly children didn't tend to make it most of the time in the past. In fact, as I've said before, the high infant mortality rate is why we see averages of living to the 50s. So many died young from complications, sickness, and abnormalities that it skewed the overall numbers. That little nugget aside, for pregnant women throughout time, the first struggle was even knowing if you were pregnant. I mean, it wasn't until 1978 that the first real at home pregnancy test came about, and it took hours to complete. The biggest change before that was actually reliable blood and urine tests, and those didn't show up until the 1930s, and only then was the average woman being advised to get a formal pregnancy test from their doctor… y'all that's less than a 100 years of women being able to even get a firm diagnosis of pregnancy from a doctor.
From the late middle ages through to the Enlightenment, so-called "Piss prophets" claimed to be able to read a legion of disorders and disease by examining your wee. As with so many things I begin to touch on in each episode, the idea of testing urine for smell, visual clues, and yes taste is something that I could spend a whole episode on as it would tie in concepts around bodily humors and medical history, but I'm also sure we'll get to go more in-depth at some point.
The fact we find the idea of a doctor smelling and tasting our pee to detect certain illnesses is so foreign and bizarre is that it's easy to forget how much technology has advanced in the past fifty years because it's been changing so fast, but it wasn't that long ago in big picture terms.
It also wasn't that long ago that women were relying on superstition for everything from figuring out if they were pregnant to what kind of life the unborn child would have. They were powerful and often passed down from older to younger females. Even today it's considered bad luck to tell everyone you're pregnant earlier than three months because the chance of miscarriage is so high, and having to explain a miscarriage is…. Yeah let's just say to anyone who has gone through that. I can't even imagine that kind of pain, and so I won't minimize that loss by imagining or describing it further.
Yet, those experiences are such a powerful factor in female life that they keep so many different birth superstitions alive.
Things such as if you see a hare, your kid will have a hare-lip… that is if the hare wasn't, in fact, a witch. The two main ones I always heard were if you were carrying high, it would be a boy, low for a girl, and if you let a needle pendulum sway over your wrist or palm and if it moved in a circular orbit, your next child would be a girl, if it was up and down and angular… a boy. Makes sense right?
Ancient Greek physician Galen argued that staring at an image of someone during pregnancy would cause the child to look like that person, so he naturally suggested spending tons of time looking at your fav statue… though today just keep images up of whatever celebrity you want your kid to look like I suppose.
Though you gotta be careful cuz if you just so happen to see something alarming or terrifying while prego your kid will definitely be deformed…
If you gaze at the moon, your child will be mad… which ties into the concept of mood madness.
If you spun or knitted… you know, the majority of a woman's work at the time, especially for the upper sorts, your child would be hung. Mother steals; child's a thief. Sees a corpse? The kid will be as pale as death.
Had to step over your cat as it flew its way across the kitchen? Babies gonna be a hermaphrodite.
Ohh, and don't even think of talking about being pregnant if you don't want the fairies to come steal your child away at night and replace it with a changeling.
Whatever you craved or ate would leave your child with a birthmark in that shape. Now, personally, my mother craved peanut butter and banana sandwiches, so you'd think I'd have some really interesting shaped birthmarks, but just regular ol strawberries and raspberry blood clusters over here… though I do still go to town on peanut butter banana anything.
Nevertheless, the fears of miscarriage, still-birth, and abnormal births were a daily concern. It's no wonder then that what the early 20th century would call "freaks" were already a huge topic in the early press, and, let's face it, haven't really ever left.
Now in terms of the early ballads, sometimes those old superstitions took on a new life in the purely allegorical tales of women whose children bore the marks of the mother's sins. Such as in the first ballad, Pride's Fall, which is the more typically seen fictional allegory that warns about vice, but even when the story was based on reports of a real birth deformity, it typically was linked back to some error in the mother. After all, the earliest laws, often set during the medieval period, focused on the superiority of inheritance and the passing on of titles and lands above all, which is why boys were so important. Hell, it was only in 2013 that the English crown created The Succession to the Crown Act, which finally made it so that females were allowed to inherit titles. 2013…. That's how long it has taken.
The early medieval laws mostly viewed the fetus as more of a life than the mother, as it could possibly be male and, therefore, a carrier of hereditary land and power. In fact, in many places, there were higher penalties for accidentally killing a child inside a pregnant woman's womb than killing the woman herself. The more things change right?
So let's go ahead and look at:
England's fair dainty Dames,
See here the fall of Pride,
Leave Wantoness in Time,
That God may be your Guide,
I was a Dutchland Frow,
Shining in Beauty bright,
And a brave Merchants Wife,
In whom he took Delight.
All things I had at Will,
My Heart could wish or crave,
My Diet, dainty fair,
My Garments rich and brave.
No Wife in Germany,
Where I in Pleasure dwell,
For Golden bravery,
My Person could excell.
My Coaches richly wrought,
And deck'd with Pearl and Gold,
Carried me up and down,
Whereto my Fancy would.
The Earth I deem'd too base,
My Feet to tread upon;
My blooming Crimson Cheeks,
Felt neither Wind nor Sun,
My Beauty made me think,
Myself an Angel bright,
Framed of heavenly Mould,
And not an earthly Wight,
For my Soul's Happiness,
God's Holy Bible Book;
I had my Looking-glass
Where I most pleasure took,
There was no Fashion found,
That might advance my Pride;
But in my Looking-Glass
My Fancy soon espy'd,
Every vain foolish Toy,
Changing my wanton Mind,
And they best pleased me
That could new Fashions find.
Yet all these earthly Joys,
Yielded me small content,
In that Dame Nature had,
Ne'er a Child to me sent.
That makes my Heart to bleed,
For which Offence to God,
He therefore grievously
Scourged me with a Rod.
And in my tender Womb,
Of so pure Flesh and Blood,
Created he, strange to see,
A most deformed Brood.
That Woman's wanton Pride,
May take Example by,
How they in Fashion fond,
Offend the Lord on high.
When the Babe came to light,
And I brought to my Bed;
No cost was spar'd that Night
To serve me in my Need.
My Nurse both youth and fair,
Fit for a Royal Queen,
Gave all Attendance here,
As it was daily seen,
Never had Merchant's Wife,
Of Ladies such a Train.
That came in gentle Sort,
At the Hour of my Pain.
But when my swelling Womb,
Yielded up Nature's due,
Such a strange Monster then,
Never Man hardly knew:
For it affrighted so,
All the whole Company,
That ev'ryone said in Heart,
Vengeance now draweth nigh.
It had two Faces strange,
And two heads painted fair,
On the Brows curled Locks,
Such as our Wantons wear.
In one Hand right the Shape
Of a fair Looking-glass,
In which I took delight,
How my vain Beauty was,
Right the Shape of a Rod,
Scourging me for my Sin;
The other seem'd to have
Perfectly seen therein.
These Women's Wantonness,
And their vain foolish Minds,
Ne'er contented are,
With what things God assigns.
Look to it London Dames,
God keepeth Plagues in Store;
PART II.
GRief and Care kills my Heart,
Where God offended is,
As the poor Merchant's Wife,
Did worldly Comfort miss.
Strange were the Miseries,
That she so long endur'd,
No ease by Woman help,
Could be as then procur'd.
Hereupon speaks the Child,
With a Voice fearfully,
Mother your wanton Pride
Brings this your Misery.
Let your Life soon amend,
Or else the mighty God,
Will scourge your Wantonness,
With a much Sharper Rod.
About his Neck a Ruff,
It had now gallantly,
Starched with white and blue
Seeming unto their Eye,
With Laces long and broad,
As now are Women's Bands;
Thus you have Women's Pride,
First in Gods Anger stands,
The Breasts were planted o'er,
As still the Merchant's be,
Now as lewd Women wear,
To hide Adultery.
Every Part, every Limb,
Had not true Nature's Frame,
But to shew to the World,
This my great Sin and Shame.
From the Head to the Foot,
Monster-like was it born,
Every Part had the Shape
Of Fashions daily worn.
On the Feet pinked Shoes,
In steps had Roses red,
Which in Silk now is us'd,
So vainly are we led.
Thus both my Flesh and Blood,
Nourish'd now near my Heart.
Put me in Mind of Sin,
And bids me now convert.
Oh! let all Women then,
Take Heed of wanton Pride,
Angels have fallen from Heaven,
And for that Sin have dy'd.
No sooner brought to Light
Was this Fruit of my Youth,
But to the Counsel-house
It was brought for a Truth;
Where to the Magistrates
In a most fearful Sort,
Began aloud to speak,
And these words did report:
I am a Messenger,
And now sent from on High,
To bid you all repent,
Christ's coming draweth nigh.
Repent you all with Speed,
This is a Message sure,
The World seems at an End,
And cannot long endure.
Pride is the Prince of Sin,
Which is your chief Delight:
Mankind repent with Speed,
Before tht Lord doth smite,
This is my last Advice,
Repentance soon provide
Now these were his last Words,
And so the Monster dy'd.
Great was the Fear of those
That these same Speeches heard,
God grant all Christians may
Have their Mind well prepared,
With a true Repentance,
God's Mercy to implore,
That never Womankind
May bring such Fruit forth more.
And ye fair English Dames,
That in Pride do excell,
This woful Misery,
In your Heart print full well:
Let not Pride be your Guide,
For Pride will have a Fall;
Maid and Wife, let my Life
Be a Warning to you all.
Influencers beware! Seriously, though, that's what the argument here is. If you care too much for fashion and image, your kid's going to come out with feet that look like high heels, and well, I guess we have to fill in the rest. Just know though… eww. Also, have fun paying for vanity with extremely long and arduous labor.
Speaking of, the imagery of the foot shaped like a high heel is straight out of the worst gore flicks, but this idea of "freakishness" if you will, is an important and ongoing one because they force us into facing one of our most innate fears, that our child would or could be born to live a life so clearly different and outside the social norms, and therefore losing the safety of the herd.
The Jersey Devil was inspired by such cautionary tales, and while I'd love to talk about that bit of fascinating folklore here because the truth of its origin as it is much more about an actual person who went a bit too esoteric in his leanings for the local Quaker population.
Regardless of that, what chance of a normal life would a child have in 17th-century Europe when born with a rare birth defect or physical abnormality?
Especially if you were born like the Colloredo Twins Johannes and Lazarus Colloredo, the first recorded pair of conjoined twins, who were born in Genoa in 1617. Lazarus had a little parasitic brother named Johannes… and while most people who have little brothers may call them parasitic, Johannes relied on Lazarus completely. They were joined at the sternum, and Johannes hung by Lazarus' side, eyes closed and mouth ajar. His breathing was always marked as very shallow, barely moving a feather, according to the contemporary Thomas Bartholinus. Now, I'm not going to read the full description written by Bartholinus, even though it is the primary source typically referred to. Its print date stands later than the print date for today's ballad, which is about the brothers, and is a contemporary ballad dating from 1637, and though the age of the boys is a bit off, that isn't surprising given the time and how well we kept track of birthdays at the time. While it isn't technically a monstrous birth report, it is still in the realm of non-normative bodies in the early modern and worth looking at as it's an example of a quote-on-quote monstrous birth that survived into adulthood.
TO England lately newes is come,
Which many parts of Christendome
have by experience found
To be the strangest and most rare,
That fame did to the world declare,
since man first walkt oth ground.
I many Prodigies have seene,
Creatures that have preposterous beene,
to nature in their birth,
But such a thing as this my theame,
Makes all the rest seeme but a dreame,
the like was nere on earth.
A Gentleman well qualifide,
[Do]th beare his brother at his side,
[insepa]rably knit,
[As in this figure]e you may see,
[And both together]r living be,
[the world admires] at it.
[In Italy this youth was borne,
Whom nature freely did adorne
with shape and pulchritude,
Like other men in each respect
And not with common intellect
hes inwardly indued.]
This yong-man doth compleatly walke,
He can both read, write, sing, or talke,
without paine or detraction,
And when he speakes the other head,
Doth move the lips both Ruby red,
not speaking but in action.
This head and face is rightly framd,
With every part that can be namd,
eares, eyes, lips, nose, and chin,
His upperlip hath some beard ont,
Which he who beares him yet doth want,
this may much wonder win.
One armes about his brother cast,
That doth embrace his body fast,
the other hangeth by,
These armes have hands with fingers all,
Yet as a childs they are but small,
pinch any part heel cry.
Onely one legge with foot and toes
Is to be seene, and some suppose,
the other is containd
[Wi]thin his brothers body, yet
[Custom] hath usd him so to it,
[He scarcely doth feel] paind.
The second part, To the same tune.
YEt nothing doth the lesser eate,
Hes onely nourishd with the meate
wherewith the other feeds,
By which it seemes though outward parts
They have for two, yet not two hearts,
this admiration breeds.
For sicknesse and infirmities,
I meane Quotidian maladies,
which man by nature hath,
Sometimes ones sicke, the other wel
This is a story strange to tell,
but he himselfe thus saith.
Th imperfect once the small poxe had,
Which made the perfect brother sad,
but he had never any,
And if you nip it by the arme,
Or doe it any little harme,
(this hath beene tride by many,)
It like an infant (with voyce weake)
Will cry out though it cannot speake,
as sensible of paine,
Which yet the other feeleth not,
But if the one be cold or hot,
thats common to both twaine.
Some seaventeene yeares of age they be,
A perfect proper youth is he
to which the lesse doth cleave,
They were baptized being young,
Few then did think theyd live so long,
as few would now beleeve.
But that to ratifie this truth,
Now in the Strand this wondrous youth
is present to be seene,
And he with his strange burden, hath
Bin shewne (with marvaile) as he saith
to our good King and Queene.
John Baptist is th imperfect namd,
Who through the christian world is famd,
his Brother which him beares
Was called Lazarus at the Font,
And if we well consider ont
a mystery int appeares.
From Italy their native place,
They have some certaine late yeares space,
gone one still with another,
Indeed they cannot otherwise doe,
He that sees one must needs see two,
the brother beares the brother.
Through Germany, through Spain & France,
(Devoyd of danger or mischance)
and other Christian Lands
They travelld have, nay rather one
For both, so many miles hath gone,
to shew th work of Gods hands.
And now in England they have beene
About a moneth although unseene,
till now obtaining leave,
In seeing this or such strange things,
Let us admire the King of Kings,
and of his power conceave.
That just opinion which is due,
To him who is all good all true,
whose works we cant find out,
Let admiration then suffice,
Sith theres no man that is so wise,
but ofs owne wit may doubt.
And so doe I.
I do find it most interesting that the title ends with “Admire the Creator in his Creatures” indicating those who are born with deformities, disabilities, or rare diseases are to be treated well due to being a part of all of God’s plan and creation, as much a wonder of creation as any beautiful perfect child. You know the argument that we should accept each other in our differences as part of what makes earth beautiful. Madness…I know. Anyways, there is a mix of horror and fascination that captures the overall sentiments that tended to carry across time well into the freak shows of the early 20th century. Yet, that curiosity and wonder at something so unique can quickly turn to fear. Fear of the possibility that we could end up having a child with a rare condition. A fear that is very much alive.
As someone who grew up with an uncle with special needs, seeing the constant strain and sacrifice is growing up facing that fear and reality on a regular basis. There is no rationalizing that it only happens to others. Parents inevitably end up questioning what they could have done differently, anything to have prevented the abnormality. Expand the inner turmoil of one set of parents to the whole of all who have had children with special needs throughout history, and… as we humans do, we start to think of ways we can avoid it, giving us a sense of control over our lives and its outcome.
However, it was only with modern gynecological science that we were able to truly understand the biological, environmental, and genetic factors of these conditions. The rapid advancement in this field of science is one of the reasons the 1932 film Freaks is known for being important in capturing so many disorders that would soon no longer exist; regardless of which side of the argument you fall on, you can’t deny that the idea of the “freak” still fascinates us in a macabre fashion, as evidenced by the countless stories like Freaks that center around the lives of those who were forced to live lives inside the tent.
I’m ending this first official season with this idea of freaks and monsters and the overlooked because, in many ways, it sometimes feels these songs carry so much value, but because many of them aren’t particularly well written, they get overlooked for their inherent story value. For example, the ballad on the Colloredo isn’t referenced in any of the main online sources about the twins. Only the Thomas Bartholinus source is referenced, and it wasn’t published until much later but is part of an overall medical book of what is essentially case studies.
Yet, how much do we learn about the cultural and historical perceptions of disability than from a popular ballad on the brothers printed and distributed in the streets they walked.
This brings me back to the purpose of all this, which I haven’t mentioned since the beginning because that was the last time it seemed pertinent.
My goal in this podcast and all the work related to it is to dig up as many of these old songs as possible and link them to issues today to not only show just how little things change but also to allow current musicians, authors, and artists a place to find and be inspired by them. So, I’ll be reformatting all of my work so far into a more traditional book format and be getting that out within the next few months, so keep an ear out for more information as that whole thing gets going, and until next time, stay curious.
Comments